Hello world (whatever world it may be),
I have been meaning to create some kind of diary-blog about our family for a while. Keeping some kind of diary seems important, for when the children are older, and a blog version seems to make the most sense – it’s all in once place, I can access it on the move… and, of course, I’m more unlikely to lose it than the various journals I could keep.
So here it is.
Initially, I wanted to chronicle our lives from an adoption perspective, what it’s like to be a family with an adopted sibling group; as we were going through the process of adopting our 2, there was nothing out there from the perspective of adopting a sibling group. We looked, but there’s not a lot.
But then we got so busy, and chaotic, to the extent that I literally had to chop all my hair off cause I didn’t have time to brush it, let alone make an account of our comings and goings.
But now, we are about to start home-schooling, so actually, it makes sense to start recording how things are; I always struggle to see the bigger picture, so this will help for sure. But also, if I am saying what we are doing I have a record for us, for a paperwork trail and also for them – proof of what they’ve achieved.
So I’ll summarise our beginnings:
About 2 years ago, 3 painstaking years after we began the process of adoption, we met our amazing (and quite large) bundles of joy (and heartache). Our eldest, Logan was 6, and youngest, Caitlin, was 3. They had left their birth family, who were unable to grasp how to parent safely, not long before. They had been to 1 foster placement, where the decision was made that, as their birth parents were unable to turn things around, adoption was their plan.
It took 4 months from the initial “we want to pursue you as their parents” to the final official “yes, you can be their parents” and we still hadn’t even met them – but it didn’t matter; much like a babe in utero, we loved them long before we met them. They came to us in the summer, so after an expected settling in period, school was pretty much out of the window until after summer holidays. We didn’t know much about them, the Foster Carer didn’t leave us with much to go on, so we had several months of trying and doing everything from food, to days out, to stories… all of it.
We started to get settled and get a good routine going – then school started. There was a brief honeymoon period, followed by more anxiety and issues than we had encountered thus far with our son. Night terrors, bed wetting, anxiety attacks. It just wasn’t right – we had concerns about the school, and then an incident occurred and the school didn’t make us aware of it – another parent approached me, after their child had mentioned witnessing it. That was all we needed to solidify our beliefs that it wasn’t going to work. So we pulled him out and home-schooled for a while.
In the interim, Caitlin was at nursery school, she was doing ok making friends etc., but she too was struggling with aspects of the day. But she was only going 2.5 days/week and it she seemed to be coping with things. We headed forward with the plan to get them into an alternative school, one without competitive learning and testing. All the while home-schooling. They both got accepted, about a year ago, and we have given it our all, fully flung ourselves in. The school was very supportive, and tried to do all they could for us. But the emotional issues, development gaps and physical issues all just piled against our attempts, and essentially left us feeling that what the children truly need is family time, early years’ development, nurture, removal of social and classroom pressured and a relaxed approach to learning, tailored to their pace, bad days and issues.
So this blog is us now, in our present day.
We hope you enjoy our journey, we sure will, trials and all.