Strained positvity…

On 3 hours sleep, I have had a tough day. I have deadlines to meet by tomorrow, that look like a lack of sleep again. However, rather than mark the day with a list of negatives, I am choosing to post my favourite moment of today to leave that as the history I record:


Today as the heavens opened and the rain poured down the tremendous sounds of thunder became apparent. I ran upstairs (where I had sent the children to play) and ignored the riotous scenes I was greeted with to declare to the children there was a thunder storm and asked if they’d like to come spotting with me. Aware that a waterproofs routine may cause us to miss out, and knowing how they like to be appropriately dressed in the rain, I took the initiative to invite them to the “viewing platform” (otherwise known as “Mumma’s desk” or more aptly described as the junk storage corner). The excitement of every flash and the anticipation of every rumble was an amazingly happy experience in the midst of such utter nonsense that I took a step back. I smiled. And I enjoyed!

PS I got my new replacement laptop… so watch this space…

Christmas and New Year 2018

A Christmas decision

Logan and Caitlin were very insistent that we have Christmas at home, which in some ways is great – it’s so expensive to go away and not be able to join in with anything for Christmas, due to the sheer volume of other people being about. However, being at home for Christmas has never been successful (we had had 3 Christmas days with the children before this one; the first two at home, the third at Bluestone). The only one successful in that time frame was the one spent at Bluestone. So we had to figure out what was different about being at Bluestone (aside from, you know, the obvious of being on holiday) that we could influence from the perspective of being at home. We came up with a couple:


People and expectations: In going away we had taken them away from family and friends and as a consequence lowered their social commitments and expectations. “Ok. We need to replicate that” we thought, so we arranged to have a Christmas Coffee afternoon – mid December. We would have our presents ready for everyone, if people wanted to exchange presents with us (which we discourage as the kids are easily overwhelmed, can’t let go of the stuf they have and don’t have room for more, and frankly, they don’t need presents, they need presence). We would bake a load of goodies and take them with us, setup mulled wine and mulled apple juice, and other drinks. People could just drop in and go off as they please, but we’d be there for like 4 hours. some activities for the kids and it’d all be great. So. That’s what we did.

Presents: Presents were spread out, family had given us presents before we left for Bluestone, we couldn’t take them with us, nor could we fit in ours from one another so we did that exchange before we went away. So Christmas Day was just presents from Santa only and was VERY low key. So we had to aim for that. So we arranged that any presents we had been given before Christmas would be opened prior to Christmas Eve. Then Christmas Eve we would exchange our household’s presents so that by bed time the only thing left would be Santa.

Christmas Eve

And actually – those two things were the only significant differences we could identify. So we did our Coffee afternoon, exchanged presents there. Then opened anything the children got there slowly over the course of the week that followed. We had a special early Christmas planned for Christmas Eve, whereby they’d wake up and get their usual Christmas Eve box (new PJs or an outfit, some new underwear and some hot chocolate ready for bed time routine). Then had a normal morning, followed by a special lunch and a treasure hunt (with picture maps) around our house to find presents that we had bought (and hid) for them – they would open each present in between the search meaning that they had time to run around looking for the next one reducing their anxiety and emotional behaviour. It really worked.

After exchanging presents, the children had a bit of free play time to burn off some energy and emotion. Then as they know I love Harry POtter and had bought me the Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit game, we play that and some other games until it was time to have PJs, get Santa’s treats ready and get up to bed. Every Christmas Eve we hide a new book under their pillows (a tradition we had arranged to hopefully have a little fun)… this year it was a tradition that was finally remembered by them and they were so excited to get through pre-bed time routine to get to their beds . Bed time went smoothly (with the exception of Caitlin feeling a little worried about someone coming into our house whilst she is sleeping… we reassured her that no one apart from us would be in the house. We reminded her that Mumma frequently does things like magic-ing things into a room and she has no idea how they are done, in a similar way her presents would be magic-ed into the living room but offered her the opporunity to sleep in Logan’s room on a mattress. This worked.

Christmas Day

Christmas Eve I had made it very clear to the kids, excitement trumps everything. So no time was too early to ask if it was time to get up on Christmas Day. They would either be told “no, not yet, a bit longer” or in most likelihood “hell yes!”. As I child I was always up at 4am persuading the youngest child in the house to go badger the grown ups to let us get up for Santa’s deliveries. And, anxiety was low enough. For the first year ever I didn’t give up at 8 and go and get them (already awake but too scared to say anything) up myself. They called up at 6am “Mumma, has Santa been?” my heart beated joy “Oh, um… I dunno, why don’t you go down and take a look?”

Santa had been, and he hadn’t left much of his treats on the plate…

The excited screams sounded their way up the staircase. I was worn out, but very VERY happy. I could have cried happy tears in fact “they are doing ‘normal’ kid stuff… what is this?”

The Logan and Caitlin don’t like anyone being left out so Bruce and I have to make each other a stocking and the children had won a stocking at a Christmas Fair so we “had” to fill it for the dog… of course.

The day was very low key, after opening presents, we pulled out the sofa bed and chilled watching the 1940’s version of A Christmas Carol. Then had some breakfast and mostly did a lot of nothing. It was perfect. And ate some glorious food in between. It was perfect. We pulled off a Christmas at home. We know what we need to do now.

New Year

Normally for New Year’s Eve, we have an evening all prepared, we put the clocks forward 3 hours so midnight arrives at 9pm (much more manageable in this house). But actually, some friends were going through a hard time. They came and stayed over. The kids all played together. The adults all played board games and laughed. The kids fell asleep early. We got no photos. It was just immensely fun. A welcome break in the midst of a very stressful time. We loved it.

Review: Kidz Barn

I won’t sit and debate my conflict of soft play here (you know that ugh! it’s useful, but ugh! headache…). Instead looking at soft play as a positive developmental tool I will review our experience of this particular establishment.

Initially, it was difficult to work out whether there’d be parking, as the establishment is down a little road past a car park for the football ground, which led to a residents only car park, and eventually a tiny car park for the soft play (enough for about 6 cars). However, as it was midweek term time we didn’t have a trouble with that.

On arrival we were greeted with a smile and the customer service was great; having established I wanted to pay by card and buy food too I was able to open a tab, instead of paying in small increments, and pay at the time we were preparing to leave. As someone who rarely carries cash (I spend and lose money waaaay too easily), this was perfect.

The cafe area and the soft play area appeared to be well cleaned and thoughtfully laid out. The staff were never idle, they were always busy serving, prepping or cleaning. All too often I find that staff in these places are busy gossiping whenever you need them. I don’t mind people being busy and not immediately available to me if they are working – I am someone with patience and respect, but it is a gripe of mine when the people are stood around gossiping. So bonus points always go to those soft plays where I am never subjected to it (and we’ve been a couple of times now so… can say this with some certainty).

The food wasn’t too bad either, the usual offenders and food stuffs generally associated with soft play. We were naughty and opted for chips with our meals… but hey! It was nice, wouldn’t shout from the rooftops and call it the most amazing food ever, but it definitely wasn’t bad! We would definitely order again.

Logan says “It’s fantastic”

Caitlin says “I loooooooooooove it”

Cogs ticking behind the scenes… still! :D

Hi guys,

I am seemingly absent, but I promise I am not. Things, once again, are rather complicated here. I mean, we had our normal winter chaos and anxiety and January is supposed to be our recovery time. But it has been relentless, I am unsure of what’s been disclosed previously, but fear I may once again not post if I don’t just write this now…. so this is a bit of what 2019 has had in store for us so far:

  • Renovation works (flooring, plumbing -repairs and additions – and landscaping)
  • Puppy seriously ill, suspected parvo but actually is likely he ate something he shouldn’t have. He is better now.
  • Caitlin (youngest child) getting rushed to A&E – Suspected meningitis – turns out it was 2 separate infections in her body causing a fever together and a bad reaction.
  • Our shower regurgitating toilet waste up through it (the person who sold this house had it as a doer upper… it appears they did the plumbing themselves with no understanding of gravity.
  • Bruce was involved in a minor traffic collision (new driver pulled out of junction, straight into the side of him – car written off she crashed into rear passenger door/wheel arch, he’s ok though and we have a new car
  • New car from previous point has stopped working (it’s under warranty and is in the garage being fixed, but it means we are down to one car, I am suffering with exhaustion and sciatica and having to either bit the bullet and carry a 87 year old in a toddler carrier, or push a wheelchair
  • A few family/friends are really suffering with health in some quite extreme ways at the moment: cancer, heart and lung problems, mobility issues that are causing serious disruption and upset

And that’s just a heavily summarised overview, with the more trivial things pulled out/overlooked. I have gotten myself way behind at uni (I was 8 weeks behind and have caught up to 4 weeks), but somehow managed to pull off some half decent essays and assignments (equivalent to 1st or 2:1).

But. And here’s the big but… As ever, I am determined to be on top of everything. I will get there. In the interim I am going to catch up with the blog reviews as I can (alongside my uni work of course). And then I will be on top of it all. The major stuff in the house will be mostly done and uni will break up for summer so. I will. I know I can. In the interim though, I have several drafts work in progress. Watch this space for more to follow.

A new page… and our summer so far

So, many reviews have been going up – I have been concentrating on getting those up to date – so it’s clear we are up and about, though still not back at full energy capacity. However, whilst the summer holidays are in full swing, we are making use of friends and family being out and about to actually see people. After all we have had so many months of stress, illness and mundane priorities. Time for some fun.

I think, from the reviews it’s clear what we have been up to on the trip-front, but at home things have been a little different too. We have been doing less sorting and more fun, family tasks, learning and getting more into a fuller routine. We found a cleaner to try and take some pressure off me… yay! I don’t need to clean our bathroom and en suite any more – that’s so much pressure removed, and strangely just the removal of those jobs has expanded my capability to get back on track enormously. Plus, after some more regrowth in the garden, we are slowly getting back on top of things.

 

That said, shortly after moving in, we found out that part of the roof (covering the part that’s connecting the main house to what was an out building) is not fit for purpose. It’s just glass that has been tar painted (and cracked) with plasterboard underneath. The longer we have been here, the more its weakness is displayed in terms of leaks – with each rain fall we find that we have new puddles inside, in the direct vicinity of electricals and their outlets. But thankfully, a roofer has been arranged, and we are on our way to having that fixed.

 

In the interim, we have been trying to have fun, trying to establish more of a routine and doing less menial tasks (such as sorting/emptiyng boxes, clothes etc.) and more fun tasks like baking we actually have an oven that can bake through without burning the outer! YES! And things such as crafts like sewing and also using the Spielgaben.

 

Which ultimately leads me to our new page. As we go about the daily challenges of family life and home education, we encounter various different bits of equipment, kit, objects etc. that we use. I decided that (when searching for these and coming up short on reviews for some) that I would start making reviews of the new bits we get. It is here.

That pretty much concludes our update for now. I summary, we are up and about ;things have been straggling in the house (and we need a new roof); we are doing crafts and bits; we have a new page.

Review: Seaquarium Weston-Super-Mare

As Granadad and Nanny were in Burnham-on-Sea having a holiday, we decided, it’s really not all that far and we haven’t seen them in a while so we should go visit them. The plan was for a beach day, but we chose to go down on a day when the weather was drab. Though for us that’d normally mean “yay waterproofs”, Nanny and Grandad were on holiday with Ariella’s step brother Jamie. Jamie is on the ASD spectrum and doesn’t do much outdoors, and definitely not much that involves rain.

After much searching around for a plan, Jamie agreed that he’d be happy to go to Weston-Super-Mare and visit the Seaquarium. Again my inner (ethical) conflict came to the surface, but still we went. And I will try and review this without letting that come to the surface.

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The Seaquarium was well thought out, utilising different angles of the same tank as viewing space in order to maximise the size of the main tank (with tunnel). The tanks all looked clean and in good order and there didn’t seem to be overcrowding in any of the tanks. There was a good variety of sea life on offer and the aquarium offered up lots of opportunity for learning, not just of the view-able sea life on offer, but also about ecological and environmental stability.

As the ticket is valid for re-entry all day, we went around a second time. But the second time we did the treasure trail that we didn’t know was on until we got inside the first time. It was quite good, clues related to the sections of the aquarium. Each section had a board for them to go to so they could stamp it with a punch. And at the end they had a pirate related prize.

Situated on a pier of its own on the sea front between the Grand Pier and the old Tropicana pool, it is in a prime location. There is nearby roadside parking which is quite expensive (if memory serves, £10 for the day), but the nearby shopping mall was slightly cheaper so we parked there, which was a reasonable walk. It was by no means a cheap attraction, but was on par with other attractions of its type (£9.50/adult and £7.50/child). Discounts offered for carers and also (we found out) to West Midlands Safari Park pass holders (as they are operated by the same group).

Please note, this is a review based on our personal experience and opinion. The Seaquarium didn’t know we were going to write this review. 

Review: National Trust The Firs (Elgar Birthplace Museum)

The property is situated just outside of Worcester about a 10-15 minute drive from another National Trust property we visited on the same day (Brockhampton Estate). It is set just back off the road and is a relatively small property and has a relatively small car park and overflow.

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The entrance to the property itself is via the visitor centre where you can find a lot of information about Elgar, book your time slot to visit the cottage itself (they have to control the numbers in the cottage due to its size) and find out what’s happening on site that day. I shall not reproduce information about the property, details of it can be found here. I have to say, I really wasn’t expecting much out of this trip, but actually I was pleasantly surprise by how much was on offer, in terms of to see, learn and do.

 

 

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Like many other National Trust properties there are summer activities here for children. They had storytelling in the garden (free) and also puppet making in the foyer (£1.50/puppet). The lady, I forgot her name, running both of these on the day was lovely. Logan was really struggling with boundaries that day (as in restrictions on what he should/shouldn’t do and personal space), and she was very patient with him.

 

 

We also had quite some hunger after our little jaunt at… so I got me a pea soup and the children shared a cheese sandwich, between us we shared 2 slices of Victoria sponge and the children had a juice each whilst I had a Sicilian lemonade. The bill came to just over £21, 1 sandwich, 1 soup, 2 slices of cake and 3 drinks. I felt the prices for the drinks were on par with high end prices elsewhere, and the price of the soup/sandwich was reasonable. But the cake, at £3.25/slice; I was expecting more than just a dry sponge with a thin layer of jam. It really was quite stale.

However, was too tired to argue it and face the wrath of the children after the promise of cake. It was dry enough for me to need to go and get a glass of tap water, which is on offer in a dispenser. However, it was empty so I approached the counter to be met with an expression of displeasure and inconvenience. I had already paid for drinks, but nonetheless the feeling I got when I approached for tap water was very uncomfortable.

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It’s definitely worth a visit.

This is a genuine review and all opinions are based on my own experiences during the visit. The National Trust are not funding my visits, we have a year annual pass that was gifted by a family member as a Christmas present, hence our numerous National Trust visits. 

Review: National Trust Brockhampton Estate

The property is entered directly from the A44 between Bromyard and Worcester. About a 10-15 minute drive from another National Trust property we visited the same day (The Elgar Birthplace Museum – The Firs). The long, high wall on the outer of the property gives an indication of a vast estate, but it doesn’t prepare you for what you encounter.

After driving a few minutes down a single track road, surrounded by open countryside and grazing sheep you get to a lay-by and a little hut where you are expected to pull over. A National Trust member of staff comes to greet you and ask what your plans are for the day (so they can give you directions). It’s here that we found out we weren’t actually “here” yet… the actual house and gardens are a further 1.5 miles drive through the estate down this single track. The beauty cannot be escaped though – even the children were making sounds of awe as we turned the corner downhill towards the Lower Brockhampton estate. And then again as the road became tree lined. And then cheers of excietment when they realised we were at the car park and the much anticipated end of journey was nigh.

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The medieval manor house (entered by a cute little gatehouse) takes you through much history and is very well presented and provides a lot of information. This is a house with no roped off areas, so you can really get up close to the displays and furnishings. And in one of the upstairs rooms there’s a chance for dress up; though the children didn’t actually dress up on this visit, the house is a bit dark which added an eerie feel, they didn’t want to stick around too long upstairs. With short films available in a room at the back taking you through how the house was opened, archaeology days and the like.

 

 

 

 

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There is a lot more information to be found on various signs around the gardens and also in the courtyard by the Granary shop and kiosk (which we didn’t use on our visit, as we didn’t have need to). You can find a lot of information about the history and uses of the estate and some of the history of the chapel, as well as some information about agriculture.

 

 

 

 

The chapel is in ruins, but still has 4 walls and and is in good enough a state to get some kind of feel for space and layout. And previous archaeological digs have found remnants that give an indication of how it would have looked, so there are pictures of that too. The children thought it was very cool to see the font in position in the chapel. More history about the property and the site can be found at their website here.

 

 

 

 

The grounds are vast and as such we didn’t cover much of them, there are many walks but we didn’t come prepared for off-roading with Caitlin (we had the standard town-friendly wheelchair, and no carrier). We did try, but after rolling through a lot of sheep poop, and flicking it everywhere as the wheels spun, we decided to call it quits and hope that we may be able to get back there on another day for a walk (perhaps with Bruce, so he can share the carrying duties hehehe).

 

 

 

Whilst we were there, they were running the “Make do and mend” trail, where the children got to hunt for different things whilst learning about how people used to make do and mend. They found it both interesting and fun and were excited to chose their prizes at the end. It was an additional cost of £2.50.

This is a genuine review and all opinions are based on my own experiences during the visit. The National Trust are not funding my visits, we have a year annual pass that was gifted by a family member as a Christmas present, hence our numerous National Trust visits. 

“When are you sending them back to school?”

  • “You’re getting more settled into a permanent home, the kids are more confident than they have ever been, they are actually learning now and thriving in the life you have given them… when are you sending them back to school?”
  • “How are they gonna do their SATs?”
  • “Well, what are you going to do at GCSE time?”
  • “How can you be sure you aren’t going to ruin their futures by refusing to send them to school?”

Common themes of conversations now that we are in our permanent space and settling.

Well let me put it this way, I can’t actually know for certain what they will achieve in their futures, but I can say with conviction that right now it is the best (and only) option. Their therapists have put it in black and white that with their combined issues “neither child can be in a classroom at present”. Not from my pushing, but from their personal assessment, observations and findings. A school institution cannot have a positive affect on their development, health and well being right now. But guess what? Home life does.

Right now they are trees with broken roots, replanted into healthy soil, being nurtured and encouraged to grow and develop. They need time for the roots to establish themselves and grow. Then they can flourish. And who knows, at some point in the future that may involve school. But if we put them into school right at this moment, they’d be unhealthy trees, overshadowed by taller, more established trees, unable to get enough sunlight through the healthy canopy towering above them, but healthy enough to not just topple and die. Existing, but never truly flourishing.

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I have days where I find it hard, but I am never ever in doubt that this is in the best interest of the children. Bruce is the same, he has days where he doubts whether this is the best thing for me (given that I never get a break), but there’s never any doubt about the children’s best interests. School is not in the vision. But our lives, as ever changing as they are with the children’s needs, are ever changing.

New family members

NEW ARRIVALS.

You may think that it’s a bit dramatic to consider them new family members, but meh… we don’t care. The children have been begging for pets for ages, and knowing that we were told we weren’t allowed anything at our old house (not even fish) meant we hadn’t got any. Now though, have 2 Russian Dwarf Hamsters (one for each child).

They have been here for a little while now, and the children are very responsible for ensuring they are cared for and clean and fed. Logan wants a dog, Caitlin wants a cat… we lost our cat (Moozer) to the frost and ice 2 years ago. And they have been begging for a pet since. However, we have decided for now that this is the limit to fit our lifestyle.

So please meet our newest bundles of chaos:

Dynamite
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and

Fire

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