Dearest friends, family and followers…
On the surface it appears I have abandoned this idea of blogging, but let me assure you, in the background many things have been happening.
Right now I have 15+ posts pending pictures/proof reading and so forth.
You see, the final quarter of the year is a very stressful and busy time for us; 3 birthdays in the household that take us up to advent, which leads directly on to Christmas, New Year and then soon after the official anniversary of the children becoming officially “ours”.
“Yeah, so… what’s the issue with that? All I see is a load of reasons to be happy” said everyone who hasn’t had the insight of ‘special occasions’ with adopted children. You see, special occassions normally serve as reminders of everything they didn’t have before; all the loses they have had to (and still) grieve; all the pain and suffering they have endured and so much more.
What is true for our children is that, for each of these occassions, for reasons personal to them, a sub-conscious anxiety and anticpation involuntarily rises within them, overwhelming them. And for children who don’t know how to regulate well, who have learned to verbalise things they understand, but don’t always understand how they feel this comes out in a variety of different ways; violence, aggression, oppositional defiance, control, manipulation, self harm, clinginess, chaotic behaviour, lies (mad lies at that), regression, wetting/soiling, heightened sensory reactions… this covers the main, and most common recurring themes.
So, I worked my toosh off, prepping for Autimn/Winter birthdays in September, starting Christmas crafting then too. Slowly working my way through the mental list of “things to be done before the start of advent”. I did it, barely, but it took all I had, which wasn’t much considering I am still awaiting surgery, and in a constant state of pain and exhaustion.
This year we have broken it up with 3 holidays. They associate being at home with the anxiety and antipation they have felt over these events – which has been working well for us… I can take a 3 month holiday anniually right? I mean, we home educate so, really, we won’t be facing a fine.
We’ve had a holiday to Dinseyland Paris, are currently at Bluestone Wales and will be coming back to Bluestone later in January to celebrate the anniversary of adoption. The Disney trip certainly eased tension, despite its own stresses, and the initial stages of the first Bluestone holiday appears to be having the desired affect. And so, we have hopefully found our answer, for now… run away! Great lesson for the kids I am sure.
Anyhow, off topic… we have been working hard to “survive” as a famiy for the last several months and are starting to find it easier to keep our heads above the water whilst awaiting rescue. We are on the home straight and are hoping we have some answers.
In the interim I will be working, in the backhround, on ensuring the blog and all reviews are completed.
Seasons Greetings to one and all.