Caitlin was given a wheelchair just before Christmas, which was a massive relief because, frankly, I just can’t keep lugging her around in a toddler carrier – she’s not heavy as such, but she’s getting long and so it is very awkward. And, in all honesty, it’s kinda sad for her, she’s very independent and so being stuck to me is not the greatest feeling – at least in her chair she can have some independence.
But I was verbally attacked about it by several “people who care”. When I say “care” I obviously mean that they are nosey and like to have an opinion on things, or feel they have a right to express judgement because they are family members etc. As far as they see it, I am trying to get as many labels as I can associated to the children so that I can get money and have an “easy life”… not even joking, someone outrightly told me that I live a life of luxury because I travel a lot with the children. And that they felt “sorry for the kids” because I clearly just try to “label them up” with various conditions/disorders.
What’s the most crazy is, before motherhood, these people knew me as very anti-label. But I guess now that I am a mother they are viewing me more as this stereotype, stay at home, grab as much of the tax payer’s money as I can, sit around watching Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women. Now, if they said Shadow Hunters, Game of Thrones or something along the lines of The 100 or Elementary they may be closer to the truth but… I’m lucky if I even get the time for that in the evening!
Simple fact is that I get so little time to myself (the children need me to be there) that even when I went for a gastroposcy I went for throat spray instead of a sedative in order to get back to them as quickly as possible (and to be fully present mentally, instead of me needing supervision for the next 12 hours). And that’s after putting my health issues to one side for over a year as the children just weren’t in a position to be that separate from me for a while, and then having to wait a further year on a waiting list.
For now I guess all I can do is just get on with my life and do the best for my children whilst accepting that their judgement is based in ignorance. That they have been so blessed in life that they can’t see the bigger picture for what it is because it is so alien to them.